Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
