How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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