I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
