And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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