so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
