....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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