Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
