separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
