Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
