just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
