he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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