just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
