dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
