I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
