How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
