Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
