Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I need water and some morals
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
