i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do vagina's smell?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
