okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize