yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
