normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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