3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish you could order shots online.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
