Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Barsexuality is the new black.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
