Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
wow bdsm is so cute
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