Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Terrible idea I love it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
