i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
