at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
they're like a gay fantastic four
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
