so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
