i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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