I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
