walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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