you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She bit a glass in half.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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