would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
