No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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