he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
