Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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