That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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