I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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