WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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