Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
