he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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