question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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