She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Alive.
So much puke
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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