Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry irish1757 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

Fav 17 844 2584
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

Fav 47 10192 2535
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

she peed on how many people?

Fav 23 2285 6278
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.

Fav 5 1078 5711
share tweet
(423): View more from Tennessee

you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell

(901): View more from Tennessee

thats the international knock for joint time

Fav 7 4541 1258
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

Fav 51 1253 11030
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

Fav 21 3547 1123
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.

Fav 3 272 293
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

I am mentally ready for anal.

Fav 0 82 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT