i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
