I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
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