Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
