I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize