is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
