"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
