i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
