it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
