so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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