I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
