It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
last night I used snow as a chaser
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
