Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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