According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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