i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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